Girls really do think too much.

So, I am sitting here on a Friday night(I have to work early tomorrow!) and I am waiting for my rice and beans to cook while I'm listening to the oh-so-soothing-John Legend. Some thoughts came to my mind and decided to blog it up.
Most of you(for those who read this) know that I had a small fling with a boy that worked in my organization while I was in DC. Actually, I wouldn't even call it a fling, b/c we never actually hung out outside of the walls of SBY. I really should have done the "1-2-3 strikes, you're out" policy, but instead I did the "I'll let you blow me off more than once and I'll still keep talking to you, no matter how mad you made me" policy. I started to think about why I did that. I always try to portray myself as a young woman who doesn't take crap from anyone, who loves herself and knows when it's time to let somebody go. But the way I acted was the exact opposite. Is it b/c I didn't really have my dad around when I was growing up and I don't know how a good man acts? Is it b/c the whole prospect of someone being interested in me is so thrilling that I would be willing to forgive and forget far too many times? Is it b/c that our conversations were so good that I was willing to look past his faults? Is it b/c I don't know my worth as well as I thought I did? Maybe. After dealing with him for 3 months on and off, and being blown yet again off before I left for DC, I went to my best friend, a little heartbroken and she came to my rescue and saved me. She gave me her copy of "He's Just Not That Into You" and was I blown away! Such a good book! At that point, I was done and bid him good riddens. Wouldn't you know that he decided to call me and I fell back into the same thing all over again? What is it that makes us girls do this? At first, I tried to make it a game, but I found myself wanting to talk to him, b/c after all, we did have good conversations. So, for almost another 3 months, I went through his games, yet again. This time it didn't hit me as hard, b/c I had already learned how he was and I didn't expect much from him. But, I still continued to talk to him, even though ALL of my friends tried to convince me that he wasn't worth my precious time. I knew they were right, but I went ahead and did it anyways. I kept saying that it was just a game, but that was probably on 75% true. I even thought that we could go on as friends! What was wrong with me?
So against all advice, I made plans to see him on my recent trip to DC. I thought he might actually show up, b/c he kept asking me about it, but who was I kidding? We all know that talk is cheap. So, we made plans to see each other on Saturday. He gave me a time frame and said we could meet at a certain spot and that he would call when he was ready to leave. Well, Saturday came, and the time frame came and went, and while part of me was aggrevated, the other part me wasn't even surprised. I attempted to call him, but of course, he didn't pick his phone, for reasons unknown-but probably b/c he knew it was me calling. I was there for almost 6 days and I didn't get one phone call from him. He knew that too. You may not believe me, but I'm truly done this time. I'm not sure why it took me 6 months to get to this point, but maybe I just got tired of dealing with his B.S. He is not going to find any girl who will put up with that foolishness for as long as I did. I needed to learn on my own, and I did. You live, you learn, right?
I have a strong feeling that he will call and act like he has no idea what happened, and I will just tell him to not call me anymore. But it's not like it would be any different, b/c he hardly ever called in the first place! I know that deserve a guy that will pursue and make every effort to get my attention. Next time, I'll know better. I know I always say that, but I'm pretty sure I mean it this time. Keep me on your radar, guys, b/c I need a support system in case I slip up.

Ok, I need to clean now! Comments appreciated!